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Welcome to the new newsletter where I figure stuff out in real time! Last Months Today When someone with money and influence asks if you want to do something, say yes and ask everyone else what that means later. Through a series of events that were more emails than adventures, I’ve signed an option agreement for a feature screenplay I wrote and am starting pre-production on a short film I wrote and will direct. The short will likely get funded, and while I cannot count my chickens before they hatch, let’s just say there’s heat under this butt, plus even an omelette can go a long way. A lot at once? Yeah. Thrilled? Think so! Concerned? Always lol (and I can see a certain friend’s eyes rolling back into their head). While it’s sort of an interesting story how this came about, I’m here for other reasons. Backstory is it’s true it helps to know people, be good at what you do, and be memorable. What feels undeniable too is you gotta be lucky, which is like asking to be a horseshoe, so yeah, good plan, Nicole. But point is that luck can arrive at any moment to anyone and I continue to ask myself to be patient and ready. I feel like I am all of those things except the ready part. I look back at the past year and a half (thank you guys) and the past eight years since I started writing and going to therapy. It’s been a lot of quality personal and professional progress and I don’t want to discount that, like I haven’t worked to deserve this. I’m trying to not cut this victory lap short either as I pop champagne to make mimosas at 9pm. But—directing a film is new to me. My high school shorts don’t count as I was a different person then, asking loyal friends to read their scripts on screen as I tried to work my dad’s camcorder. A real crew, actors, locations, equipment, and budget are new to me. While directing sounds like the next step to writing, it uses different skills. A film comprises of craftsmen across multiple depts. who expect the director to supply the vision and role-relevant details, then they carry out the tasks in the ways they truly know how. I took just a few screenwriting classes seven years ago, so I keep googling what a gaffer is. I write alone because what’s comfortable is having only one person to contend with, one person I ultimately control. Replaying those facts does not feel good. Here are my other truths. I was a costume designer who didn’t know how to sew and a script supervisor who didn’t know what a dolly was. I was a depressed kid who garnered the energy to graduate from a demanding high school, a rigorous college program, then find steady work and opportunities elsewhere. Despite long-held privacy, I anatomize myself, giving pieces to friends to question and clarify, and reveal those to you and everyone else who can find this. Directing is new to me, but a company wants to fund this endeavor because they see my potential is valuable, that there’s more than who I am on paper and who I’ve been already. So I probably could figure this out. And after laying out how this is new to me, I believe the fears I’m feeling right now are natural and not immovable. The best I can ask myself to do is to learn without shame, continue to express what I think is useful, and figure out how to trust people and their ideas for a project that is so personal. Sure, some workings are there, but I know there’s room for more, so I’m curious (cue certain friend clapping) and set on getting to trust. As usual, writing helps me reflect towards conclusions and sharing helps keep in mind what is useful for you and me to hear. Doubt is not the only thing that ties us together, so if this yarn has reminded you of any resources that have helped you through your adventures—articles, videos, books if they’re really really good—please reply back! I’m looking for practical rethinking and film essentials. I hear film is also fun, so I’ll take a good meme too. Touch that remote! Theme Song “I Love You Money” by Lowell (Spotify / YouTube) But did I mention I signed my first movie contract and am gonna get funding for my own project? TELL WHAT U LOVE U LOVE THEM Theme Media Unlocking Us with Brené Brown - “Brené on the Anatomy of Trust” (Spotify / her site) Psych ma bae Brené presents the acronym “BRAVING” which I will not spoil. The one that has stuck with me most is “G” for Generosity, a case for assuming good intentions while staying up front. Accountability and honesty go both ways. Leave room for your next round trip. Good $hit Chris Voss Teaches the Art of Negotiation (MasterClass) For my first deal, I did anticipate how I might get screwed. While that doesn’t sound like trust, and it’s not, this natural defense led me to how to mediate concerns, cultivate enough trust, and nurture collaboration through understanding. Too woo-woo to who? Not the FBI. Chris Voss is a former hostage negotiator and current shake-your-money maker. He runs us through tactical empathy, body language, the value of “no” etc. and comical, but earnest convo exercises for every day, not just business. My favorite takeaway is a simple shift in how we can talk because the word “why” is triggering. We’ve been asked since birth, “Why the hell did you do that?” so try recalibrating your questions using “what” and “how” for conversation starters and continuers. This is the only MasterClass I’ve watched, so can’t vouch for the whole library, as star-studded as it is. If you want to try this class first, see if you can snag a free 14-day guest pass from a friend (thanks Aidan!). One More Thing
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